Drinking away my dishonesty down the drain...

I have a drinking problem... I stopped drinking for a good 2 weeks and started up again last night with my friend D... I didn't even feel like drinking yet, once again I ended up drinking and to the point where I was buzzed... I keep telling myself I'm going to quit completely and I've even told D that... I just wash away my own dishonesties down the drain, by drinking... Since, I was in a bad mood from playing basketball last night, like I said I had those panic attacks again... So, I decided to wash away my bad mood, by drinking.... Once again a way of myself being in complete denial and being totally dishonest to myself and my process... I know if, I stop drinking my friend D, will probably not want to hang out as often... He'll probably never want to hang out besides every now and then... I don't want to lose our friendship, because he's a really cool guy and laid back like myself... Yet, I know if, I keep being friends with him, I'll end up getting drunk and stupid... I know I'll keep on being dishonest towards myself and others...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink to fit in with my friends... I forgive myself for drinking to be socialable... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dishonest towards myself by drinking to get drunk... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink because I think that's the normal thing to do with your friends... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe drinking will make my anxiety's dissappear... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hang out with my friend D , just to have a good time by drinking...