Self Forgiveness 2-9-09...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become very lazy for a good year now... I forgive myself for becoming so lazy, that I don't really want to get a job now even though I need a job really bad... I forgive myself for sitting around all day playing video games and chillen on the net... I forgive myself for judging myself as lazy and dense.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself through self criticism... I forgive myself for feeling down on myself for not having a job for awhile now.. I forgive myself for perceiving my family judges me as a loser or a lazy bum.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to dictate what I must do with my life... I forgive myself for thinking I need to play video games to have some sort of "fun." I forgive myself for beLIEving I'm not a good son/brother/uncle.. I forgive myself for thinking to much and not participating in self honesty.. I forgive myself for judging the things I do wrong as "wrong." I forgive myself for thinking I have no clue what I was just talking about..lol I forgive myself for feeling the need to give up on this process of mine.. I forgive myself for feeling even the need to give up.. I forgive myself for thinking I'm just a robot programmed to do what I'm programmed to do, just like everyone else.. I forgive myself for worrying about my writting expression and grammer.. I forgive myself for calling this girl I know crazy.. I forgive myself for always trying to avoid people.. I forgive myself for always repeating in my head throughout the day, everything that I have already forgiven.. I forgive myself for thinking I'm not doing this process "right." I forgive myself for masturbating once again!! I forgive myself for feeling disgusted of myself for masturbating... I forgive myself for letting my thoughts run wild during my sexual fantasies about the women, that which I masturbated to... I forgive myself for feeling the need to masturbate... I forgive myself for letting myself down once again.. I forgive myself for getting angry at myself for pleasuring myself.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself in the next life... I forgive myself for thinking I'm going to be ashamed of my life, when I die and meet my true self... I forgive myself for fearing the unknown and wondering what it really will be like... I forgive myself for making excuses on not wanting to face myself in this life.. I forgive myself for beLIEving I won't be able to stand up for LIFE in this life...