Self Forgiveness for 2-8-09...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel the need to drink to fit in with my friends.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to feel obligated to drink alcohol to have a good time.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at porn and masturbate to it.. I forgive myself for letting my sexual urges get the best of me.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act different around my friends and not act like my true honest self.. I forgive myself for feeling anxious before going out to drink.. I forgive myself for having a few negative thoughts about what others might think about me if, I don't drink.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others out at the bar who were pretty drunk.. I forgive myself for judging myself as well.. I forgive myself for thinking I'm a little bit fat and feeling a bit worried about what others might think of me due to me being overweight.. I forgive myself for becoming worried and upset when my dad called me a moose.. I forgive myself for blaming alcohol on why I am overweight now... I forgive myself for feeling sorry for myself for being overweight.. I forgive myself for wishing I was skinny again like I use to be.... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the driver for my friend who deals dank (marijuana).. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my friend for being a drug dealer... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve my friend is using me to deal his marijuana.. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel obligated to look good all the time.. I forgive myself for thinking I'm not as good looking as I use to be... I forgive myself for feeling the need to impress others.. I forgive myself for feeling the need to always fit in... I forgive myself for getting bored and wanting to drink... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others for why I am the way I am now.. I forgive myself for letting my sexual urges (fantasies) get the best of me once again.. I forgive myself for resorting towards masturbation to make me feel better and just to get my fix of euphoria for the night.. I forgive myself for letting my mind get the best of me just for a silly orgasm.. My mind is in denial and I forgive myself for this.. My mind is in denial and needs it's fix of euphoria day in and day out to hide behind it's false self.. I forgive myself for being in denial... I forgive myself for thinking I'm doing this blog just to show people I am not a quitter or just for show.. I forgive myself for all the stuff I resent in the past way before I got into the desteni material.... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to entertain myself with thoughts of suicide... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself through depression, anxiety, shyness, lazy, or any other type of description... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to talk gibberish with others... I forgive myself for not standing up for myself and quit talking total nonsense... I forgive myself for having "guy" talks with my friend D about girls and all other ridiculous slang terms on describing sexual intimacy and girls.. I forgive myself for defining myself as one thing or another thing.. I forgive myself for getting to attached to my cats, because when I'm not around them I miss them and don't feel complete... I forgive myself for attaching myself to my friends and thinking I owe them or they owe me.. I forgive myself for letting others judgements about me get in the way of living my life fully..