I haven't had sex in awhile... It's probably been around 6 months almost... This is probably the longest I've gone without having sex... That is since the age of 16, when I got into sex... The longest before that was when I was 20 and was going through the ignorant religious phase... Where I thought sex was only suppose to be for bringing life into this world and only through marriage... That phase went on for about 3-4 months long...
I could really care less about having sex now... I mean yes, I do have a problem of looking at porn though... Yet, I haven't looked at porn for about a week and a half now... I'm not as horny as I use to be, that's for sure!!! I definitely don't really see the need for sex... Because no girls around here are really, genuine girls... I don't want sex really either... There is no really craving for sex... Especially, since I know now that it's just a big mind fuck for just an orgasm really... I just don't really want a relationship and that's the only reason can see why I might want to have sex again... I don't want to be promiscuis (sp?) ... If, I ever have sex again, it won't be a one night stand... It will actually mean something...
I don't need a girl to please my emotional needs... I just need myself to be there for me... I am falling for my own self... Slowly but surely I am starting to see myself as love itself... I know love is just a concept, but you all know what I mean... I have myself so, there is nothing more amazing than that... I mean there are times I get a bit lonely... That only happens if, I'm around couples... I'm getting use to getting over that though... Sex to me really is just pointless and not worth my time...
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see sex as something I need to do... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe sex is something for just pleasure... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think sex is sinful... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve sex, is just for two people who love one another... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let sex run my life, while I was a teenager... I forgive myself for taking sex so seriously... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let sex ruin some of my relationships... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become obsessed with sex... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let sex run my life... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to behave differently around people, when I talk about sex...
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