Trouble with my mind fucking with me...

I'm having terrible inner struggles with my ego/mind... I find it difficult to express myself in ways of oneness, self-honesty, and what not when I'm out in public.. It's a lot easier to stand up for life being at home on the internet, expressing myself on my blog.. I can't seem to get it through my head to be self-honest, when I'm out with my friends... I always feel the need to try to say the right things and be cool.. Instead of just being myself.. I always feel judgment towards myself out in public... I have trouble judging others out in public... My mind tells me how to think act, walk, talk and define myself through ignorant personalities... My mind wants me to mingle with the girls and get laid... My mind wants me to putting on a front around the ladies too.. I'm always trying to act suave and non-chalant... I'm sick of my mind dictating my behaviorism... I'm tired of the same old self of denial and addictions to my ego mind.... My mind is the ultimate chatter machine... It never lets me just rest and relax... I hear no silence, besides when I'm sleeping... Even then my mind throws me through loops of crazy dreams, where I feel all sorts of emotional pain, agony, defeat, sorrow and physical pain... If, only I could get myself to stop playing a character in this silly game called "life." I keep going through the same cycles of worry of what do they think of me... What will they think of me tonight.. What will they think of me tomorrow... Why are they looking at me like that??? People are staring at me... People think I'm weird... People think I'm some sort of shy coward... Is this what they really think of me??? Or is this just how I think of myself??? Yes, it's definitely that Alex... :) Sorry for talking in third person.. :) lol... Well, then stop the mind and thinking your some certain person and that person is thinking this and that about you... Common sense Alex... Keep it simple... "Silence the mind."