I've been sick since early sunday morning.. I was sick with the flu... I had the shits like no other and threw up a good 3 times... This is the first time I've really been sick for the past 2 years... I never threw up so violently ever until this time... I mean I have had my moments of throwing up violenty, while being intoxicated... But never have I ever really thrown up so violently while sick with the flu... I hate being sick... Especially, sick to the point of throwing up and diarrhea... I fear becoming sick... I had fears of throwing up too... The fear within me was very deep... I hate throwing up... I can handle shitting my brains out, but when it comes to throwing up, I can't handle that really... The nauseous part is the worse... My fear of that is pretty deep... Nauseum makes me sick litterally... Plus, having migraine headaches doesn't help either...
I felt the need to look at porn while, I was sick... Since, I was deep down in the hole of sickness, I wanted to experience some type of pleasure... I wanted to please myself... To help ease the suffering of my sickness... I didn't give in until, later in the night... I pleased myself due to suffering...
So, that's why I haven't written anything in the past 2 to 3 days, now... I just wanted to let you guys know that..
later
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