Saturday, March 14, 2009
Self-forgiveness for 3-14-09...
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol once again... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at porn once again... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to masturbate to porn... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to indulge in sexual fantasies, which leads me not facing myself here and "now." I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like a pervert for indulging in porn and masturbation... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for all the cats and dogs that I try to help, at the animal shelter that I work at... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel the need to comfort the cats and dogs... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I need to take a cat home with me... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get pissed off at the game, because the team I wanted to win lost... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get upset over something so irrelevant towards life...
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Hi Alex,
ReplyDeletemaybe the reason you're doing sf is not totally clear. It was rather vague for me. Something about being free and here. But I didn't have direct contact to that point as and within me and so sf was a thing of regret, more of the mind, it was something I did to save me. Not as me, as and within an accessible point that is me. You know, it wasn't tangible within.
Then I listened to Hitler's afterlife (I converted the videos to MP3). In vid 5 or 6 he explains that the life source, who I am, is in the area of the solar plexus and that there are 7 strands (system strands) that feed off of you as the life source by way of participation within and as mind, thoughts, feelings, sex with images etc.
That was the point when I realized there is something specific I want to "revitalize"/regain/protect by stopping mind and my participation within and as it. This was an actual point in me! I am this point as and within it - I am it and this is what I am here, it is accessible, actually here, already, all-ready here, tangible. I am here.
So this makes sf real, concrete and allows it to be effective for me, doing it as within this point of me here.
Thanks for sharing!
Barbara